We've all been there. Those moments when you lie in bed, trying to will yourself to sleep when thoughts take over. The moment you try hard to fall asleep is the moment you realize that it's already dawn and that you've lost the whole night to restless thinking. Although, if you're anything like me, you find way to fill in those hours and keep thoughts away from your mind.
There are times when I can't stand the looming darkness of my small bedroom. The creeks of walls in the suburban home begin to get to me. So I climb out of bed and turn on every light available in my room. Usually, these are the nights where I sit down at my desk and begin to draw. I save my graphite drawing for these nights. For the nights where I want to escape in the details of an intricate portrait. Drawing calms my frayed nerves. It chases the darkness away and awakens a peace inside of me. Usually, after a couple hours of this, I will end up feeling tired, yet still unable to get to sleep. Frustratingly, I might go downstairs to do some laundry, or pick up some things around my room or, most likely, put on some music and take hold of a good book.
At this hour, generally around 3 am, my eyes get smaller and I begin to feel drowsy. I have to pick a novel that I have read previously and that is not too engaging. This, is merely for precautions. If I were to take hold of an exiting tale, whether it be fresh or reread several times, I would find myself awake and absorbed in the story of someone else's life. Making sure that I am comfortable, should I fall asleep, I crack open that spine and indulge in one of my most favorite pass-times.
If all of this fails to get to to bed. I open up the laptop, set it on the side of my bed and play a movie. On low volume, as I strain to hear the voice and their words, I usually begin to drift off. If I am lucky if I get about 2-3 hours of slumber before my alarm clock goes off at 6 am for my daily bike ride. A new day begins, and I know that in less then 24 hours, I will be doing these tasks all over again, facing the same problems.
Nonetheless, I always seem to begin my day on a good note I am very much a morning person when I force myself to wake. I get my best ideas at night and wake up early to accomplish everything else my life has to offer. However, if you've ever caught me on a Saturday morning, you know mine does not begin until 12:00pm. This is a much needed moment of rare sleep.
Even so, I find myself spending the weekends with my boyfriend, the only time when I can actually sleep without worry. By my side, I know he will be there when I wake up and the sound of his heart is the best lullaby to my sleepy soul. Then and only then, do I truly get a good night's sleep.
For anyone who has ever asked me what I do with all the free time from the moon's perspective, here is your answer: I spend mot of it trying to fall asleep.
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